its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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