its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I think i peed on brittanys purse
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
You made out with two different species that night
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Randomize
