So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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