I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
