Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
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