PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Randomize
