My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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