he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
