Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
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