Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
