i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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