Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
