Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Randomize
