Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
