lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
