Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
