so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Randomize
