Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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