This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
