is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Randomize
