He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
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