fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
your like the ambassador to my penis.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
