this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
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