Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
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