Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
