ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Randomize
