I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
me + whiskey = a bad person
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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