is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
she told me i tasted like america
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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