im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
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