all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize
