I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
