Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
