we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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