I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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