Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
