Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Randomize
