a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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