Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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