i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Randomize
