hotel room ftw
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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