I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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