i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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