I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
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