he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
