that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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