Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
