ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Damn victory sex feels great
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
