Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Randomize
