ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
