wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
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