Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Randomize
