Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize