I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
