Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
