Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
