well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Randomize
